Finding love is not just looking at the best dating sites for over 40 or Tinder or other online dating apps. However, as you go along with the journey of finding love, there’ll always be bumps on the road.
I’ve had conversations around ghosting over and over again and I feel that it’s time to put this out there. Having this conversation is huge and important in finding love. I know a lot of women are afraid to put themselves out there because they’ve maybe had an experience where they’ve been talking to someone, having a good time, and then all of a sudden that same person you’re getting along with and somehow invested your time and emotion just disappears.
Your time, heart, mind, and emotions are starting to set to that amazing person and then you never hear back.
And that’s what the word ghosting means in the dating world. It means one day, they’re there and then they’re gone, and unfortunately, this situation in the way that most people experience it has a huge effect on our mental wellbeing and mindset especially in our views of finding love. Why? Because we make it a problem in our life.
“Oh my gosh, what did I do?”
“What did I say?”
“What did I do wrong?”
Then some women start thinking that they need to change in order to get someone to stick around, believing that since I’ve been ghosted there must be something wrong with me. And I want you to know that that is a lie.
Here’s the deal. Even if you did say something that your date didn’t like. They get to have their love story too! So it’s not about you, it’s about them.
Have you experienced being ghosted? or have you ghosted someone because you just didn’t know what to do? I remember when I was dating, there were times when I just really didn’t know what to or say because I was so afraid I was going to hurt someone’s feelings. What to do when you don’t know how to break up with someone. Today I want to talk about how to handle “ghosting” when it happens to you.
Celebrate it! Weird right? But hear me out. When you want an extraordinary relationship, and you are asking the universe to bring it to you. There’s magic that is happening in the cosmos to support you. Did you know that? When you ask, the universe for your amazing love, it’s on a mission to actualize that for you! People who are working with me and doing my programs and coaching with me just by making that choice for love are stepping into an ask for a phenomenal relationship, not just a date, but a conscious loving, meaningful partnership.
This means learning to recognize dysfunctional patterns and not going there again. This means deep core healing and transformation so that the unconscious doesn’t keep sabotaging love. This means no more victim stories. This means no more hopelessness.
When you are asking for a greater possibility in love, and do the inner work to align with that, like all of the above including knowing how to date and having an authentic dating strategy, building your profile, and going online or to singles events in order to start meeting people, you will create it (as long as you also know how to receive! How good are you at receiving?)
I teach the art and consciousness of finding the one which invites listening, noticing, and following the energy and inspirations that match the quality of the love story you want to have. All those inspirations are the universe coordinating on your behalf. So then you start dating you meet people, you go on dates, and you start getting to know people to see if they are a good match for YOU. Keep in mind, getting to know someone takes more than a minute or two so be patient, give yourself space!
Dr. Amanda Barrientez and I talked about patience as scarcity thinking on The Love and Money Breakthrough Show, where we discussed being impatient. Where you’re noticing that you get impatient, you have a big mindset shift. You’re starting to buy into the limitations, doubt yourself, and ask questions that are not helpful. You’re energy contracts, you get stiff and kind of like starting to fret and worry “maybe there’s no one out there for me???” and then that stops the flow of abundance and blocks receiving!
You’re a powerful creator. And in your alignment and in your connection to your infinite you will eject some people out of your world (what we have seen and called “being ghosted”) is actually a superpower of YOU! What would be possible if ghosting is actually that magic of you as a co-creator with the universe for that greatest love?
Then how fun is being ghosted? Really fun! This experience of ghosting reminds you that you are protected. You have that power. It’s a choice to obliterate that way of being that goes to the sad stories and the victim thinking. And instead, make a demand of yourself to function from your power, the place where things are working out for you when you are aware of what is calling your attention and how the universe wants to gift and guide you. This way you are taking action in the direction of love. You put yourself out there, do what it takes, and enjoy the journey.
Enjoy your life. Let now be in love. How you love your life is your love life. So that is the opportunity. So you get to have that.