I have an Olympic Gold-level resting bitchface, that’s how my face is. And because of this, I often can be misinterpreted as dissatisfied when I am not! But now that I know this I can start paying attention to where people may misinterpret me. And it can happen with other things, with the tone of voice, or the brevity of an email. So it’s helpful to be conscious of it if I want to create connections with people. So if you can relate, you can probably see how this would be helpful when on a date, you want to be aware of what messages and energy you’re putting out there.
So there’s a couple of things that we can speak on with this. If there’s any part within you that says like, “Oh, well, I’m not going to be fake, I’m not going to fake a smile all day long.” It doesn’t have to be about that either. We are here to be more aware of that energy and how you are going to make your presence more remarkable especially when you’re out there on a date. Being aware of your presence is fun to play with when you can turn on your energy in a way that is naturally more attractive.
The energy of your words.
The energy of your body language.
Bringing kindness and caring.
Every part of you can be inviting a magical connection.
Having that open energy, where someone feels seen and heard is kindness. Diane Poole Heller in her brilliant book The Power of Attachment, shares how we can beam and gleam with our presence, make eye contact, and bring caring energy to a conversation where the person you are with feels your kindness and feels safe with you. That’s connection!
The question now is, how will you manage to create this?
Does it always have to be always having eye contact?
Or do you have a perma-smile? No!
It’s holding that sense of caring in your energy when you’d like someone to feel open to connect with you. These beaming intentions in your heart can change things. And it’s not a head thing, it’s not like you think your way through it, it’s really moving into the body.
We are in a society where women are more open to personal development especially when it comes to dating. And I meet so many women that assume men know what to do on a date. They usually don’t. They are winging it and some are even nervous. So just being aware of that, and being aware that you actually, as a woman, have a big influence on the energy of a date. When you have that open, relaxed, welcoming, kind energy,it can change the whole experience and be a gentle invitation for the guy. You are a big part of what creates that openness in the experience. So if you’re feeling like it’s really awkward and nothing’s happening, what energy, space and consciousness can you invite your body to be, that will melt away those sticky, funky places? And it’s OKAY if it’s a little awkward. That’s normal. How much fun can you have with that?!
There’s never a bad date. You can go on a date with someone who might be looking different from their pictures or maybe not that fun to be with in person but as long as you have that strategy in place, your first date, either over a cup of coffee or dinner, you can always connect and decide for yourself if you’d like to hang out again and bring your beam and gleam presence.